Draw Blood

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I had a medical check-up on Monday. Once in a while employees in Belgium have to go through this mandatory procedure to check to what extent their employer has poisoned, maimed or irradiated them with uranium isotopes.

So after a little wait the nurse came for me. As I am the very image of health, I didn't have to undress. She just checked my eyes, and noticed I have two, which is apparently in accordance to the Belgian legislation. Then she asked me all sorts of questions in bad Dutch, so after a while I got embarressed because I had to say 'Excuse me?' repeatedly. But luckily she didn't conclude that I have a hearing deficiency from that.

Then she asked me if she could draw some blood - I assume it was for secret highly illegal government tests. 'Sure', I said because I didn't want to be taken for a feeble cry-baby.

What she forgot to mention however, is that she would use a corkscrew to open up my artery. So now I look like a veteran herroin addict.

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