Wolf

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1-0 For The Coffee Table

Since the dawn of time, or at least since the invention of small decorative furniture items, there has been an ongoing war between coffee tables and toddlers. For small children taking their first steps, the coffee table is a natural enemy. It is preying on them, while they try to keep their balance. For a toddler, falling on its bum is not a big deal, because of the thick padding that is provided by their diaper. They are even capable of increasing the padding, by doing a big number two. Although the feeling at impact must be a bit wet and slimy, it provides an added pneumatic cushioning effect.

Most furniture will help your little bundle of joy to keep his or her balance by providing support when they feel they’re wobbling a bit too much. But coffee tables are just to low to give that support. Yet they stand in between the soft landing zone of the wall-to-wall carpet and your baby’s lip. And they have sharp edges. The most sadistic ones have a glass top or metal edges. We have a dark wooden one with relatively rounded edges, but they are hard and edgy anyway.

Yesterday, Wolf stumbled over my wife’s slippers, which were illegally parked next to the coffee table. With a mighty ‘thud’ he landed with his head on the coffee table. His mouth hit right on the rim of the table.

Pain! Blood everywhere! A heart-piercing wail followed by inconsolable crying! Parents veering up, father running to the kitchen for a cold washing cloth while mother cuddled and caressed and tried to hush the little baby.

His lower teeth went right trough his lip, but luckily they didn’t wiggle. It took us a long time to comfort our little guy, every time he would put his fingers/thumb in his mouth and then he’d feel the pain again.

We tried to ease the pain with ice-cream, but there was only an itsy-bitsy left in the container and it was so old that it tasted foul. We are really inept parents.

One Of Those Days

'Wolf's has had a double ear infection for weeks now. I'm lucky he didn't pass it on to me'

The moment I had formed that thought into my head, the virusses clambered into their Stuka divebombers and scrambled into the air. So as of yesterday night, my head feels like it's going to explode and release a giant tsunami of puss, slime and snot.

While I remained in bed and perfected feeling sorry for myself, Mrs.B went to work. Two hours later, she was back.

The police had closed the office, arrested her bosses and sealed of the place. No-one is to enter. The investigating magistrate wouldn't give anymore information, apart from the fact that he wouldn't interrogate my wife because she's only been working for this office since the beginning of the year.

Anyway, it's very unclear now if she's without a job or not, and if she will be paid for the last couple of weeks or not.

And I thought I had a bad headache before I heard that news.

Wolf playing on the hospital bed

Wolf playing on the hospital bed

Wolf was a little bit jealous

Wolf was a little bit jealous

My little clown

My little clown

Moving Up

It seems just a blink of an eye ago that we held this little fragile mini-baby in our hands. Our Wolfy is growing fast and learning new tricks, such as:

  • Sitting up on his own (and licking cows).

Baby Wolf and his favourity (toy) cowBaby Wolf and his favourity (toy) cow

  • Eating bread - or rather, turning it into a mushy ball of slime that he can spit out if he has enough. On the other hand, he'd eat the whole bread if you would let him.

Wolf on his belly

Wolf on his belly

Wolf in bath

Wolf in bath

Wolf 'eating' bread

Wolf 'eating' bread

It's A Boy

A healthy boy, weighing 3.520 kg and measuring 48 cm. He has his mother's veracious appetite and my nose (atchoum!) He popped out at 2 o’clock this morning and made his mother suffer for twelve hours. Boy, he’s going to hear that a lot when he’s naughty!

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